Birthday Rap

It's your birthday today, that's what I've been told...
You're another day older and you're still gettin' old...
Soon you'll be livin' out in the street...
Cuz your momma don't love you and you got smelly feet.

You'll be livin' in the gutter...all cold and alone.
You won't have no friends cuz you ain't got no phone...

So happy birthday, loser... Loser... You're a loser...
Yeah, happy birthday loser... Loser... You're a loser...
Livin' in the street all cold and alone!



The Bald Song

Well, look who's bald!
Ya got no hair!
You're terribly bald!
I do declare!
Bald! Bald! You're very bald!
Hair! Hair! It just ain't there!
Yeah, look who's bald!
I think it's you!
Don'tcha wish ya had hair?!
I bet ya do!
But ya got no hair!
No hair at all!
Look at you fellers!
You're terribly bald!



Eatin' in a Restaurant

One time I ate at a restaurant,
The food was disgusting and bad,
The spaghetti had fungus,
The rats were humongous,
And the waitress threw up on my dad.

Then my brother, he ordered a chicken breast,
It smelled and was starting to rot
And the meatloaf had worms,
And the gravy had germs,
And it tasted like somebody's snot

Bring me a bag, I am vomiting

(This is the rest of the song. It wasn't on the show, please!)
My stomach is not feeling right,
There's hair in my soup,
And my fruit's full of poop,
Oh, this food might just kill me tonight.