it all started when I became the avatar it twas a dark and stormy night usaly the avatars identidy isn't reaveled till there 16 birthday well this is what realy happened once the monks told me I was proud until my life started changing ever so slightly I showed my friends how to use the air scooter the next day they made a game out of it I wanted play but of course this avatar thing got in my way again and said it would be unfair to what team I was on anyway I was agrvated so I went to the avatar statues when I herd monkiotsos voice with onother monk they were talking about shipping me to the western air tempal I was scared so I left a note saying I don't want to leav but this avatar stuff is too much so im runing of
to learn the rest of the elaments water bending from katara earth bending from toff and fire bending from the banned prince Zucko I bid you farewell may I return someday anyway I made it to the southern water tribe but tosee fire nation ships... should I continue the seri
This is a very very good start onto something great! But, it would be even better with punctuation! Just a little something to get you on your way! :D It seems like a very interesting story, but I'm a little confused XD Keep up the good work! : )
~Just the average LPS collector, why are you staring at me like that?~ *Akita*
Thank you for the comment yeah I have been getting kind of nervous for school therefore its been getting to my mind and messing up my writing also I might take a break for a week from writing one more thing since nick is remodling I will put up the title above on or the story's name when nature calls.
Just being honest, I couldn't tell what you were saying in your last post. You should always read your post BEFORE you post it. It may make sense to you, but you also want it to make sense to your readers. They can't appreciate your fanfic if they can't understand it.
I really hope this helps! Your fanfic has a lot of potential!
Why didn't They know about the war I asked myself. Tanso; How could we and what war? Katara; The war of a thousend suns as I like to call it. Paumla; Ok but the war is over. Katara; Not it hasn't, after Aang took away Ozai's bending the world was at peace 3 years once more. Until a tribe of air benders swore to have vengnce on Aang. Aang; I ran away in fear When I was 12 and was frozen into an iceberg, then the air-benders were attacked by fire nation they knew I was the avatar. Paumla; What wait theres more of us were not the olny one's this change's everything [falls asleep] Sokka; What's changing. Tanso; Aang were are we headed. Aang to Zuko, he can help us. As I stared into the beautiful eyes of Katara she looks like a princess. A voice overtook mine it was Zuko!
Sorry this paragraph is realy small but I gotta go somewhere
It seems like you have a good idea and a lot of interesting characters. I'm excited to see where this story goes! Just a word of advice for you to attract more readers, you can post more than one paragraph. Also, before you post another part, make sure you read your last post to make sure they go together and flow. I hope this helps and I hope this fanfic really prospers!
"All I knew was I would do anything for her."
KILA OF THE SOUTHERN WATER TRIBE
As it turned out it wasn't jail it was home. A crazy thought it is but it was true. Suddenly a shadow appeared in the distance. The shadow jumped at us. And said; My name is Aang Avatar Aang. But.. but I thought Tanso was the Avatar. I asked. Aang; Young hero you are right in many ways. Tanso is not the Avatar but is has the spirt of one. Tanso; So what does it mean? Aang; It means you have a strong spiritual side. Aang Come we don't have a minute to spare. Were are we headed I asked. To Appa and my friends. Tanso; Who's Appa. This is Appa. Wow I thought that is the biggest bison I ever saw. Sokka; So who did you bring this time Aang; Two kids. Sokka; Do they know about the war. I asked; What war. I thought this was just a dream. I mean how could this happen the Avatar Sky Bison. It is just happening so fast and so little time. Is this Really happening I ask myself. Spirts please help me this is so confusing. What path do I take what do I do. I'm so lost in this fearsom
Today changed my life forever.
I was wandering around the southern air temple when I herd a cry for help. It was a young girl with the beauty of a thousand stars in the night sky. Just at the last minute I saved her. After the rescue. She asked me if I have seen the long lost Avatar. My heart raced the speed of a spirit dog. Knowing a deep dark secret. I never did tell her I was the Avatar. Just as I was thinking such thoughts the Fire Nation attacked. I was scared as anything would be if they saw the great fire nation. But then a deep rage took over. A rage so unbearable that even the greatest of hearts couldn't control. After I snapped out of it. I saw one last fire nation solider. Thus But know sign of that mystry girl. But I did see clues A trail of foot print leading over to the avatar statues. But all was a waste for it lead to a child a simple child. A strong child though he was enough to knock me out. When I woke up I found the mystery girl. But we were in jail.
The wind gusted horibaly as I tried to climb a ladder to the top. Alas it didn't work well... You know how they say before you die your life flashes right by you well that's what happened Today. I almost fell to my doom into the never ending abyss of blackness. Until He came. Tanso. He was my hero. No one knows his real name or Identidy . And Claims to have seen the Avatar. But the Avatar is gone. Pepole tell me that after Avatar Roku's Death the Avatar was no more. Until now. After Tanso saved me he took off his hood. I noticed something patciular. Arrows but what did they mean. Suddenly. The Fire Nation attacked I shot an air blast at them and tried to run. But it was useless. But then Tanso did something incredible that I cant describe in words. All I can explain then is glowing Eyes mouth and tattoos. Wait a minute that's not Tanso its the Avatar. Seconds later I fell unconscious. When I woke up I was in a dark wet place. It seemed familer but I wasen't sure...
As we got nearer and nearer the town looked twice the size then before. Sokka 'Aang do you think we can get anything to eat around here like meat'. Paumla. 'Dream on big boy dream on.' Paumla. Everyone knows the best thing to eat around here is custard pie.' Aang.' Mmmmhhmm what' Sokka' Eight words. WE ARE NOT IN THE NORTHERN AIR TEMPAL. Me ' we will get food soon enough'. Thbyat was Ironic the second he menchened food the food food was offerd by the southern water tribe.
She said her name was Paumla. She looks just like me only a female and has hair also no tattoos. I said that We were looking for other air benders. Paumla 'Eh that's funny the last time I saw another air bender was for 5 years' Do you mind me joining your group'. Katara might said Sokka Other than that were fine' said Aang. 'Hey' said Katara. And off we went to the southern water tribe. Their we saw massive buldings 'This is much bigger than the southern water tribe'. Said Sokka
We flew around on Appa for some time we needed a break. So we went back to the northern air tepal. Sokka said 'Hey Aang what's that your wrigting' I said nothing Sokka' That was close if he saw this he would freak out. ' Any way as we got closer to the tepal I couldn't find any one there no sky bison either. But we saw a movment in the distensce it was an other air bender.
As we were getting ready to leave, I saw a Fire Nation ship moving. I told Sakka but he simply just said ' Aang you have the craziest imagination'. 'For real look behind you'. 'Aang what have we talked about no crazy thought's. Katara had to drag Sakka out of there before it was to late.'Why did you do that'. Said Sakka. That. 'Oh... a giant Fire Nation ship moving right towards us'. said Sakka. We hopped on to Appa just before the ship hit us.' We cant just leave are village to suffer the fire nation can we'. said Katara. 'Sure we can' said Sakka. 'No we can't' said katara. 'Sakka its your own village'. said Katara. 'Uuuuughh fine. said Sakka. Alright! 'An adventure' I said