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Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness

Kung Fu Panda: "Bosom Enemies: Foiled Again"

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Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness

Kung Fu Panda: "Bosom Enemies: Foiled Again"

- OH, NO, YOU DON'T. - BUT-- - YOU HAVEN'T TOUCHED THOSE NOODLES. - [groans] I'M NOT HUNGRY. - IF YOU DON'T FINISH YOUR NOODLES, THE QILIN IS GOING TO EAT YOU UP. - THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS THE QILIN. [shattering sound] - WHO SAID THAT? WHO--WHO--WHO-- WHO SAID THERE'S NO QILIN? WHO? WELL, I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, MY LITTLE FRIEND, BUT THE QILIN IS QUITE REAL, AND I ASSURE YOU, I'VE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES. IT WAS HORRIBLE. I WAS YOUR AGE. AGAINST MY PARENTS' WISHES, I HAD GONE FROLICKING DEEP INTO THE XIN XAO FOREST. ♪ FROLIC, FROLIC, FROLIC I WAS SO BUSY FROLICKING, I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS LOST. LOST. I HEARD A HORRIBLE BREATHING SOUND. - [growling] - AND WHEN I TURNED AROUND, THERE IT WAS... THE QILIN! I RAN AS FAST AS I COULD. I EVEN TRIED FLYING. BUT I HADN'T LEARNED THAT YET, SO THAT WAS POINTLESS. THE QILIN CAME AFTER ME. - [growls] AAH! LUCKILY, I FELL INTO A STREAM AND FLOATED TO SAFETY BY DISGUISING MYSELF AS A LOG. - [gobbles] - OH, THANK YOU, MR. PING. - YOU'RE WELCOME. AND DON'T WORRY, SONNY. THE QILIN WON'T EAT YOU. IT JUST CHEWS YOUR HEAD OFF. - AAH! - PO? - [startled yell] - YOUR FATHER NEEDS YOU. - UH, JUST A MINUTE. ALMOST DONE. - WITH WHAT? HANG ON. [grunts] THIS! EVERY YEAR I MAKE MY DAD A WINTER FESTIVAL PRESENT. - [flatly] A BOOMERANG? - NO, IT'S A SPOON. - THAT'S A SPOON? - IT'S A-- I COULDN'T FIND A STRAIGHT PIECE OF WOOD, AND-- - YOU GUYS ALL MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS HOLIDAY, AND YOU'RE GIVING YOUR DAD THAT? - UM, YEAH. BUT, I MEAN, IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO... CARVE IT. - HEY PO! I NEED MORE SESAME SEEDS! - UH, I'M ON IT, DAD! SESAME SEEDS, SESAME SEEDS. IF I WAS A SESAME, WHERE WOULD I--OH, MY GOSH! DAD GOT ME THE NUNCHUKS I'VE BEEN WANTING FOREVER! SOLID SILVER! PERFECTLY BALANCED! [Kung Fu shouts] OH, MAN. TIGRESS IS RIGHT. HOW'S DAD GONNA FEEL WHEN I GIVE HIM THIS? - [gasps, cries] HWADO, HOICH-- - WHOO-YAH! OW, OH! - JAH! - HYAH. [thud, thud] - OW! OH! - YAH! - OOH! - [slaps] - OW, OW, OW, OW. OH, OH, OKAY. - YA! - AH! OH, AH. - HYAI-YAH! [slam] - MANTIS! AH, OH. [panting] [thud] MASTER SHIFU, HOW MUCH LONGER DO I... HAVE TO TRAIN? - WE'RE DONE FOR TODAY. - NO, NO. I MEAN, HOW MUCH LONGER? LIKE, SIX MONTHS, A YEAR-- - IF YOU DON'T TRAIN, YOU WILL NEVER REACH THE NEXT LEVEL. - THERE'S A LEVEL HIGHER THAN THE DRAGON WARRIOR? - YES. THE CELESTIAL PHOENIX. - OOH! - IT IS SAID THAT THE CELESTIAL PHOENIX WOULD BE SO ATTUNED TO THE UNIVERSE THAT THEY COULD DEFEAT AN OPPONENT MERELY BY LOOKING AT THEM. - AWESOME! SO, HOW DO I GET TO BE THE CELESTIAL PHOENIX? HOW! - BY TRAINING. YOU MUST TRAIN UNTIL YOU CAN PASS THE TEST OF THE THREE NEEDLES. YOU TOSS THREE NEEDLES INTO THE AIR, THEN KICK THEM WITH SUCH PRECISION... - YES? - THAT ONE NEEDLES PASSES THROUGH THE EYE OF ANOTHER... - NO! - AND STRIKES THE THIRD NEEDLE SO PRECISELY ON ITS POINT THAT IT SPLITS DOWN THE MIDDLE. - WHOA. I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THAT SOMEDAY? - OF COURSE NOT. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. THERE'S NEVER BEEN A CELESTIAL PHOENIX, AND THERE NEVER WILL BE. THAT'S THE POINT. NO ONE CAN EVER ACHIEVE THIS ULTIMATE GOAL. HERE WE GO. 'KAY, IF ANYONE TRIES TO GRAB YOU, YOU JUST PULL THE STRING, RELEASE THE BALLAST, AND LET THE WIND WHISK YOU OFF TO SAFETY. RIGHT? HUH? - LIKE THIS? AAH! - OKAY. NOBODY PULL OUR STRINGS UNTIL I SAY TO. GOT IT? ATTENTION, VICTIMS. WE HAVE COME FOR YOUR VALUABLES. - FUNG! - WHAT? ALREADY? WE DIDN'T EVEN, LIKE-- DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, SUPER SENSE? CROCS, PULL YOUR STRINGS! WRONG STRINGS. YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA FIGHT? - HE ALWAYS HURTS US. - SORRY. - YOU GUYS ARE LOSERS! [helmet clanks] LOSERS! LOSERS! LOSERS! YOU ARE WORTHLESS! - FUNG. - YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT A DISAPPOINTMENT FROM THE BEGINNING! - YOU COULD BE A LITTLE NICER TO YOUR COWORKERS. - YEAH! THE PENGUIN TREATS US BETTER THAN YOU, AND HE'S, LIKE, OUR ENEMY. - I MEAN, I JUST THINK THAT-- WAIT. PENGUIN? - OH. OH, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. YOU'RE TRYING TO SWIPE MY GANG. - I'M WHAT? - SWEET-TALKIN' 'EM AND FILLIN' THEIR HEADS WITH CRAZY IDEAS. - I DON'T EVEN KNOW-- I'M NOT-- - PO AT LEAST DOESN'T YELL AT US. - OH, YEAH? WELL, IF YOU LIKE HIM SO MUCH, THEN WHY DON'T YOU STAY WITH HIM? - MAYBE WE WILL! - FINE! - FINE! - FINE! - FINE! - [sobs] YOU STOLE MY GANG! HAPPY NOW? - I DON'T EVEN-- - FAREWELL! DRAMATIC EXIT! [screams] OW! OW! OW! AAH! DARN IT! - MAN, WHERE DOES HE GET ALL THAT ANGER?