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T.U.F.F. Puppy

Pup Daddy: Young Gun

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T.U.F.F. Puppy

Pup Daddy: Young Gun

- I CALL TO ORDER THE WEEKLY MEETING OF FINDERS OF ALIEN INTELLIGENT LIFE. - ALSO KNOWN AS F.A.I.L. WHICH IS AN APPROPRIATE NAME, CONSIDERING WE'RE MEETING IN A BROOM CLOSET ON A SAH-SAH-SATURDAY NIGHT. - HAVE FAITH, KESWICK. I KNOW WE'RE GONNA MEET SOME ALIENS. - ALIENS? I JOINED THIS CLUB TO MEET GIRLS. CALL ME MISGUIDED, BUT I THOUGHT GIRLS LIKED TALKING ABOUT UFOs IN A DARK ROOM THAT SMELLS LIKE DIRTY MOPS. - I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE WE MAKE CONTACT. - WITH GIRLS? - NO! WITH ALIENS! WILL YOU FOCUS?! - FINE. SO WHAT METHOD OF COMMUNICATION DID YOU GO WITH? RADIO TELESCOPES OR HIGH FRA-FRA-FREQUENCY MICROWAVES? - NEITHER. I STUFFED A NOTE IN A BOTTLE AND THREW IT REALLY HIGH IN THE AIR. - OH, COME ON! WE'RE NEVER GONNA MEET ALIENS LIKE THAT! - GUYS! THE T.U.F.F. RADAR HAS PICKED UP AN ALIEN SHIP HEADED FOR PETROPOLIS! APPARENTLY, THEY'RE RESPONDING TO A MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE THAT SOMEONE THREW REALLY HIGH UP IN THE AIR. - THERE. I'VE SET 50 ALARM CLOCKS FOR 7:00 A.M. THERE'S NO WAY I'LL BE LATE FOR WORK TOMORROW! NOW TO GET A FULL THREE MINUTES OF SLEEP. COULD'VE GOTTEN MORE BUT IT TOOK EIGHT HOURS TO SET THE CLOCKS. [snoring] - I KNOW YOU CAN'T FLY, BUT WOULD IT KILL YOU TO DEVELOP SOME UPPER-BODY STRENGTH? [all grunting] - [snoring] - QUIET. WE ALMOST WOKE UP AGENT PUPPY. NOW LET'S STEAL HIS ALARM CLOCKS SO HE'LL BE LATE FOR WORK. [phone ringing] - CHAMELEON BETTER HAVE MY MONEY! - HI, CHARMAINE. YES, FEEL FREE TO EMPTY OUT THE OTHER BANK ACCOUNT. I LOVE-- HELLO? [dial tone] - [snoring] - HE'S SLEEPWALKING. JUST PLAY ALONG OR YOU'LL WAKE HIM. - THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER, MOM! THANKS FOR THE PUNCHING BAG. - QUICK! ACT LIKE PUNCHING BAGS. [all grunting] - YAY! IT'S TIME TO BREAK MY BIRTHDAY PINATA. [giggling] - QUICK! ACT LIKE PINATAS! - HOW DO YOU ACT LIKE A-- [all grunting] - [snoring] - MAKE HASTE! WE'VE ONLY A FEW SECONDS BEFORE THE ALARMS GO OFF. [alarms ringing] - WE DID IT. AGENT PUPPY'S STILL ASLEEP AND HE'S GOING TO MISS WORK! LITTLE CHIPMUNK GIRL, YOU'RE THE CITIZEN OF THE YEAR. FOR HELPING ELDERLY SQUIRRELS STORE THEIR NUTS FOR THE WINTER, YOU'LL BE RECEIVING A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF PIZZA. [train whistle toots] - HERE'S YOUR PIZZA, HAND DELIVERED BY TWO TOP-NOTCH T.U.F.F. AGENTS. SINCE I GUARDED IT SO WELL, CAN I HAVE A PIECE? OH, SURE! WHEN ELDERLY SQUIRRELS NEED A SLICE, YOU'RE ALL OVER IT! BUT WHEN A DOG NEEDS A SLICE, YOU JUST GET IN YOUR PIZZA TRAIN AND TAKE OFF! - I'M HERE FOR MY PIZZA. - WE JUST GAVE IT TO YOU. [gasps] OH, NO! DUDLEY, THERE'S ONLY ONE EXPLANATION FOR THIS. - YOU'RE RIGHT. THIS LITTLE GIRL'S AN IMPOSTER! - NO, DUDLEY. - THEN YOU'RE THE IMPOSTER! - THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. NO, IT MUST'VE BEEN THE CHAMELEON WHO TOOK THE PIZZA TRAIN. HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD DISGUISE HIMSELF AS THE LITTLE CHIPMUNK GIRL. - [blubbering] WHY DID THE INCOMPETENT T.U.F.F. AGENTS GIVE MY PIZZA TO THE CHAMELEON? - DON'T WORRY, LITTLE CHIPMUNK GIRL, WE'LL GET YOUR PIZZA TRAIN BACK. IN FACT, I PROMISE YOU I'M NOT GONNA EAT ANY PIZZA AGAIN TILL WE DO. - REALLY? - REALLY. [crash] - WE'RE IN, SNAPTRAP! [alarm blaring] TIME TO GET A NEW SET OF WHEELS. - YEAH, AND AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE, WE MIGHT AS WELL STEAL A WHOLE CAR. BUT WHICH ONE? THE MINIVAN HAS A DVD PLAYER AND PLENTY OF LEGROOM FOR HOSTAGES. BUT THE ELECTRIC CAR IS GOOD FOR THE STUPID ENVIRONMENT. AND THE ENGINE'S QUIET, SO OUR VICTIMS WON'T HEAR US COMING. - HEY, BOSS, YOU BETTER MAKE A DECISION FAST. T.U.F.F. IS PROBABLY ON THE WAY. - BACK OFF, FRANCISCO! I'M HAVING TROUBLE DECIDING. LET'S SEE. BUCKET SEATS, MOON ROOF, OR SHOULD WE ALL JUST GO OUT FOR BREAKFAST PASTA? THANKS, OLLIE. THE COLD WATER CLEARED MY HEAD. I'M GOING WITH THE MINIVAN AND BREAKFAST PASTA. - FREEZE, SNAPTRAP! - I ALREADY DID. THE WATER WAS ICE COLD. - UGH! - [screams] - HYAH! [accordion wheezes] - ACK! - HI-GEE-GEE! - WOW, I'M IMPRESSED. YOU GUYS ARE REALLY DECISIVE. YOU KNEW WHO TO PUNCH, WHO TO KICK, AND YOU KNEW LARRY WAS TOO STUPID TO DUCK. MEANWHILE, I'VE GOT SIX OUTFITS ON 'CAUSE I COULDN'T DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR. I GOT A RAINCOAT UNDERNEATH MY FOOTIE PAJAMAS. WHO DOES THAT? - RELAX, SNAPTRAP. WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU'LL ONLY NEED ONE OUTFIT-- PRISON STRIPES. - YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON! - I THINK HE GOT THAT, DUDLEY. - THERE IS NO HARM IN BEING SUPER CLEAR! - HE'S RIGHT. ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T GET IT. THAT REVERSES THE AGING, UH, PROCESS. I CALL IT THE YOUNG GUN. IT'S STILL IN THE TESTING PHASE, SO IT'S DANGEROUS AND UNPREDICTABLE. KIND OF LIKE ME ON THE DANCE FLOOR. BUST A MOVE. [vocalizing] - GIVE ME THAT GUN! I CAN MAKE THIS OLD PIECE OF PIZZA YOUNG AGAIN. - AAH! - EEK! - [screams] - [groans] NEATO! THIS IS COOLSVILLE, DADDY-O! - OH, NO! I TURNED THE CHIEF INTO A FOREIGNER. - NO, YOU BOZO. THE YOUNG GUN WAS SET TO "TEENAGER." - GIMME A "B"! GIMME AN "O"! GIMME A "Z"! GIMME AN "O"! WHAT'S IT SPELL? BOZO! - WELL... GAG ME WITH A SPOON. I'M TOTALLY RAD AND GNARLY TO THE MAX. - OH, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE, AGENT PUPPY. YOU SENT ME, UH, BACK TO MY AWKWARD TEENAGE PHASE. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. OH...THAT IS AWKWARD. - KESWICKS GO THROUGH A SERIES OF METAMORPHOSES AS THEY AGE. IN A FEW YEARS, THE TAIL WILL BREAK OFF AND FORM ANOTHER KESWICK, WHO I WILL THEN HAVE TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. - SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATORS. I'M GONNA GO PICK UP MY CHICK, AND CRUISE OVER TO THE DRIVE-IN. AYYY! - YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, FONZIE. I'M GONNA BREAK-DANCE ON A CARDBOARD BOX. WHOO-HOO! WORD TO MY MOTHER. WAIT, SCRATCH THAT. IF MY MOTHER CALLS, TELL HER I'M ORGANIZING MY FLOPPY DISKS. - I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANYONE'S SAYING, BUT THIS IS SO COOL. EVERYONE'S MORE IMMATURE THAN I AM. - I'M STILL MATURE. I JUST HAVE A, UH, TAIL. I ALSO SQUIRT INK WHEN I'M NERVOUS. [telephone ringing] AAH! - AAH! THAT TEARS IT! GET READY TO RUMBLE, NERD. - THREATENING ME JUST MAKES ME MORE NERVOUS. - ARGH!