THIS DRIVING SAFETY FILM IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY "COBBUTKSBSPOTRAOOBAT" CITIZENS OF BIKINI BOTTOM UNITED TO KEEP SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS OFF THE ROAD AND OUT OF BOATS ALL TOGETHER. GOOD DAY, FUTURE MOTORISTS. I'M MRS. PUFF, STATE ACCREDITED DRIVING INSTRUCTOR. TODAY, WE'LL BE DISCUSSING THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A DRIVER WITH BOAT SMARTS... RIPPING GOOD DAY FOR A SPOT OF DRIVING. ...AND A DRIVER WITHOUT BOAT SMARTS. HEY, SQUIDWARD, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY FEET! [GROANING] LET'S SEE SOME EXAMPLES, SHALL WE? TIRE PRESSURE. BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN THINK ABOUT BOATING THE BOATER WHO USES BOAT SMARTS ALWAYS FILLS HIS TIRES TO THE APPROPRIATE LEVEL WHILE THIS DRIVER PAYS NO HEED TO BOAT SMARTS. [GURGLING] Mrs. Puff: BUCKLING UP. AS DEMONSTRATED BY THIS DRIVER, HE HAS ENOUGH BOAT SMARTS TO USE HIS SEATBELT AND AVOID A SERIOUS CASUALTY AS A RESULT OF A COLLISION. NOTICE HOW HE COMES GENTLY TO A STOP SIGN. NOW, THIS DRIVER WITH NO REGARD FOR SAFETY... [SCREAMING] [SCREAMING] Mrs. Puff: WELL, AT LEAST HE HAD HIS SEAT BELT ON. [SCREAMING] Mrs. Puff: ADJUSTING YOUR MIRRORS. WHAT'S OUR BOAT SMARTS BOATER UP TO NOW? YOU GUESSED IT. HE'S ADJUSTING HIS MIRROR BEFORE HE BEGINS BOATING, UNLIKE THIS DEGENERATE BOATER. [SCREAMING] AH, PERFECT. HEY, USE YOUR MIRRORS, FOOL. MIRRORS? OH, THAT REMINDS ME. I HAVEN'T ADJUSTED THIS ONE YET. AH, CAN'T SEE. OH! [CHUCKLING] [SCREAMING] [CRASHING] OW. FINALLY, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, A DRIVER WITH BOAT SMARTS ALWAYS PAYS ATTENTION TO HIS SURROUNDINGS, AND AVOIDS DISTRACTIONS. NOTICE HOW THIS DRIVER'S EYES ARE LOCKED FIRMLY ON THE ROAD. AND HERE WE HAVE THE EPITOME OF A DRIVER WHO IS CARELESSLY DISTRACTING HIMSELF FROM THE ROAD AND SAFETY. [SPONGEBOB HUMMING] [SPONGEBOB STAMMERING] [HORNS HONKING] [GROANING] [SHRIEKING] [GROANING] JERK! HI THERE! HELP, LUNATIC DRIVER! [SCREAMING...] HOW'S IT GOING? [ALL TALKING AT ONCE] Mrs. Puff: SPONGEBOB, I MEAN, A BOATER WITHOUT BOAT SMARTS SHOWS CONTEMPT FOR HIS BOATER BRETHREN AND THE LAW. SpongeBob: ♪ LA, LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪ WHEE! HI, SQUIDWARD. HI, MRS. PUFF. [SCREAMING] [GASPING] [SCREAMING] [HORN HONKING] LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS FORGOT YOUR BOAT SMARTS. [LAUGHING] Mrs. Puff: NEVER MIND. WITH THIS DUDE FOR A WHILE? - THAT'S IT. - WHATEVER. LET'S ROLL! - IT'S NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU, TONY FAST JUNIOR. [breathing heavily] - I SAID, "LET'S ROLL!" - OKAY, UH, ROLL, ROLL, ROLL. IS THERE A BUTTON FOR THAT? UH, I KNOW I KNOW THIS. IT'S AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE. I-- - JUST DRIVE! - JUST DRIVING. AAH! YOW-OW-OW! WHAT DO THESE DOTTED LINES MEAN? - RELAX, MAN. YOU GOT TO RELAX. - RELAX. RELAX? MRS. PUFF HASN'T TAUGHT US THAT YET! - NO, I MEAN JUST RELAX, MAN. - OKAY. JUST-RELAXING, MAN. [groans] RE--LAX--ING. RELAXING...SO HARD! [groans] I CAN'T RELAX! - NO, NO, NO, NOT LIKE THAT. YOU JUST GOT TO LET GO. - LET GO? - BE...COOL. - BE COOL? - BE COOL. - BE COOL. [surf music] ♪ COOL... - NOT BAD, DUDE. NOT BAD. - [gasps] IT'S A MIRACLE! - NEPTUNE BE PRAISED! - THAT WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED. Are you sure about this, Mr. Krabs? [laughs] Why, I couldn't be surer, lad. You don't need a "professional" to teach you how to drive. You know, Mr. Krabs, at boating school, Mrs. Pu-- Wipe that boating school malarkey out of your mind, son. It's all a racket. [gasps] It is? And that goes for every kind of schoolin'. Why, there ain't nothing truly important you can't learn on the streets with half a jigger of common sense and your own two claws. Now put her in gear. Okay. [engine starts] [groans] [laughs] Well, rookie mistake, boy. Happens all the time. - It does? - No. But you got the right fire in your belly. I do? Yeah, well, you know, what we need is a change of venue. This empty parking lot is just the ticket. Like every young person, the novice boater needs plenty of open, obstacle-free space and the freedom to make mistakes. Mr. Krabs, you're so wise. [chuckles] Can't disagree with you there. All right, put her in gear. [crash] Hmm. Rookie mistake, right? I suppose so. Now slowly inch forward and we'll check out the damage. Inch. Inch. Inch inch inch. Inch, inch.